


Alphonse, the Suit of Armor

by Laora



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Gen, Poetry, christmas carols!, rhyming and everything!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-22 16:29:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laora/pseuds/Laora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various Christmas carols, Fullmetal-ified!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alphonse, the Suit of Armor

**Alphonse, the Suit of Armor  
(to Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer)**

You know Edward and Mustang and Curtis and Hoho,  
Father and Kimblee and Tucker and Marcoh  
But do you recall  
The most famous alchemist of all?

Alphonse, the suit of armor  
Had a kinda sucky life  
Cause if you're made of metal  
You will never score a wife

All of the other soldiers  
Didn't understand the guy  
Alphonse just really wanted  
To eat Winry's apple pie

Then one awful Promised Day  
Father came to say,  
"You suck, I'm awesome, please go die!"  
Alphonse let himself get fried…

Then Brother came to save him  
Soldiers shouted out with glee  
Alphonse the human being,  
You'll go down in history!

 


	2. Mustang, the Bastard: An Ode by Ed

**Mustang, the Bastard: An Ode By Ed  
(to Frosty, the Snowman)**

Mustang, the bastard  
Is a cruel, unfeeling guy  
With his squinty eyes  
And his messy hair  
And a smirk that makes kids cry

Mustang, the bastard  
Is a terrible CO  
I really hate his guts  
(Should kick him in the nuts)  
And I doubt it's all for show

There must have been some stupid in  
The water years ago  
For he's grown up and acts quite like  
A circus's freak show

Oh! Mustang, the bastard  
Acts quite nice to all his team  
But apparently  
Since we can't agree  
To him, "Edward" is blaspheme

Mustang, the bastard  
Thinks his fire is so neat  
He says "Let's burn Ed  
'Til the shrimp is dead  
So my girlfriend I can meet."

Al says I'm lying  
He says Mustang's not that bad  
But the paperwork  
He's always shirked  
And he laughs like he's gone mad

He's led his friends all up the ranks  
To overthrow Bradley  
I guess I can't complain if he  
Gives me and Al money

First! Mustang, the bastard  
Must beat the Homunculi  
To avenge Maes Hughes  
(Save Amestris, too)  
I suppose he's a good guy…


End file.
